[We open on the darkened interior of a night club somewhere on the Vegas strip. EDM throbs in the background, as do a number of mood lights strung along the wall. While dozens of people dance, chat and laugh around her, Jakucho Akechi sits in a booth wearing a black cocktail dress. Her makeup is immaculate, her gaze smoldering as she beckons the camera closer. We see Chiaki, her personal ring announcer, sitting across the booth from her, hands resting on a folded t-shirt.]

Jakucho Akechi: <”Welcome back, loyal lilies. So nice to see you in the bright lights of Sin City, where a determined woman’s dreams are coming true every single week. Did you enjoy the show last week? I’m sure that Lucy didn’t. Poor thing – she calls herself a queen and has so much potential, but in the end her bravado just earned her a ticket on the Nadeshikoaster.>

[Jakucho shakes her head in mock sorrow, then holds her drink up so that the lights catch it just right to make it twinkle.]

Jakucho Akechi: <A toast to Lucy von Drake, a woman who mostly has my respect. And the latest name to fall at the hands of my Revolution. Sadly, there will be collateral damage from the kind of monumental change it’s going to bring about. It’s nothing personal Lucy, you just happened to be the woman in my way last week. I’d be happy to take you out for drinks sometime.”>

[The Queen of Queer Style knocks back a bit of the drink, then sets the glass down gently. Suddenly her expression goes from playful to haughty annoyance.]

Jakucho Akechi: <”The same can’t be said about the Hockey Grandpa who’s done nothing but annoy me from the moment I set foot in Project: Violence. Endless droning on and on about ‘Puck Strong’, standing firm like a tree, being one of the toughest men in the entire business. A man so completely absorbed in his own deluded worldview that he thought I was a rookie. A rookie?! I suppose when you’re old enough to remember the last time a Canadian team won the Stanley Cup, anyone younger seems like a fresh faced dojo graduate.”>

[She laughs a bit at her own wit, but quickly returns to a serious tone.]

Jakucho Akechi: <”Puck, we’ve had such a back and forth online that to be honest I’m sick of seeing your name in connection to mine. You can hang for a while with other old men like Satake, but when you stand in the ring with someone whose joints haven’t turned to sawdust, it’s an entirely different equation. You may be able to take a beating, but your fighting is unrefined. You have determination but you are not prepared for a woman who can think three steps ahead of you. None of the decades of experience you have under your belt will give you an answer to the problems I pose. For all your big talk, in the end you’ll just learn what Kat, Dash and Lucy already have: Jakucho-sama is inevitable.>

[Jakucho motions to Chiaki, who unfolds the t-shirt and holds it up to reveal the text ‘Party’s Over, Grandpa!’]

Jakucho Akechi: <”To celebrate me finally getting that overgrown beaver off my back this week, I’m offering a special 25% discount on this t-shirt. Go to Jaku-do.com and enter promo code ‘HockeyGrandpa’ to get that special deal. It’s exclusively available on my web site, so hurry and get yours today, lilies.”>

[Jakucho smirks and for a long few moments says nothing. Then finally she leans back against the booth, a feral satisfaction in her eyes.]

Jakucho Akechi: <”After this week’s Uprising, you can go Puck Off, old man. When I’ve beaten you, go ahead and cry maple syrup tears in the corner. I’ll be moving on to bigger and better things.”>

Leave a Reply Cancel reply