By Elena Cruz

Ugh, hello beautiful people! 💅✨

It’s your favorite (and obviously overqualified) broadcast journalist, Elena Cruz, reporting live-ish from the Crimson Club Casino & Arena in Atlantic City. Honestly, I should be on a red carpet in LA right now, but someone has to bring a touch of class to this place while I wait for my agent to call back about that movie role.

So, I was forced to watch PV Uprising 141 tonight. If you missed it, lucky you—I mean, here is what went down. And don’t worry, no spoilers, because knowing who won won’t help my engagement numbers anyway.

The Opener: Streetwear vs. Biker Gear?

First up, we had Teddy Rush bouncing around. He calls himself “The Urban Ace” and came out in that hoodie and snapback cap he always tosses to the peasants—I mean, fans. He was fighting Chopper Anderson. Teddy was doing his usual high-flying thing, jumping off ropes like he’s trying to audition for Cirque du Soleil. It was very fast, very sweaty, and Teddy definitely thinks he’s the coolest guy in the room. (Newsflash, sweetie: I’m in the room).

The New Guys: The Rougeaus vs. The Starr Brothers

Then we had a tag team match. Apparently, The Rougeau Brothers just got traded here from XPro. I barely learned the names of the guys already on the roster, and now I have to learn two more? They fought The Starr Brothers. It was a lot of bodies in the ring. I mostly spent this match checking my Instagram notifications, but it looked intense.

The Debut: Scott Washington vs. Rex Stone

Next, another new face! Scott Washington made his debut after coming over from the sVo. He was up against Rex Stone, that Canadian kid who always looks so “golly gee” clean-cut. Rex is super technical and serious about “Canadian wrestling icons” or whatever, so watching him tangle with the new guy was… something. Rex really tries hard with that underdog vibe, doesn’t he?

PV TV Championship: Dutch Ramirez vs. Gabriel Cross

Okay, this one was loud. We had the champion, Dutch Ramirez, riding his motorcycle to the ring. It’s so loud and smells like exhaust. He’s huge, hairy, and wears leather—total biker vibe. He was defending his belt against Gabriel Cross, who is… a lot. He calls himself “The Holy Avenger” and acts like he’s on a crusade. So, it was basically the Biker vs. The Preacher. Dutch was throwing big punches , and Gabriel was being all dramatic and “righteous” about it. A classic clash of styles, I guess?

Grudge Match: James Mendoza vs. Dash Diaz

I actually paid attention to this one because Dash Diaz has great style—love the Miami neon colors. He calls himself “The Standard”, which is confidence I can respect. He had to fight James Mendoza, who used to be nice but is now just a bald, angry guy who tapes his fists and hangs out with Henry Steele. Mendoza is scary and fights like he’s in a bar brawl , while Dash was trying to be all technical and pretty in the air. It was ugly vs. aesthetic, basically.

The Main Event: Elijah Drake vs. Jean-Louis Duval

Finally, the main event. Elijah Drake is back—apparently, he’s a “legend,” which is code for “been around forever.” He went up against Jean-Louis Duval. Ugh, Jean-Louis. He thinks he’s royalty, wears velvet smoking jackets, and literally smokes cigarettes on his way to the ring. Disgusting habit, but I admit, the scarf is chic. Duval was his usual arrogant, snobbish self, treating the match like he was bored by it all, while Drake tried to teach him a lesson.

Anyway, that was the show. I survived another night in Atlantic City without breaking a nail. You’re welcome.

Follow me on social media @ElenaCruzPV for actual star power!